Where to Sit in a Movie Theater: The Film Occasionally Guide to Optimal Moviegoing
Assuming we can ever go back to the movies, that is.
One of my favorite film critics is Richard Brody, whose New Yorker blog is called The Front Row. He didn’t name it that by accident. “When I go to the movies, I sit in the front row (or close to it),” Richard wrote as part of an informal mission statement just under 12 years ago:
That way, I have to turn my head to see everything that's on screen. It's true to the way movies look, and feel, to me: each image is more than one image, both visually (with the many people and objects, up front and in the background, that it contains) and in thought. The images of movies reflect the work of many people and even a director's own conflicting ideas. Sitting up close makes the complexity and diversity of each image a physical reality.
That’s a lovely sentiment, but on a practical level it’s not something I can personally abide. Sitting in the front row is uncomfortable and even a little jarring, especially if you only do it when there’s no other choice and therefore aren’t used to the experience; craning your neck to take in everything happening onscreen strikes me as more distracting than revelatory. (As the grandson of a chiropractor who surely made a good deal of money from habitual front-rowers, I feel uniquely qualified to rail against this harmful practice.)
I don’t entirely disagree with Richard, however; the best place to sit is the front row, just not the one he’s thinking of. Rather, it’s the front row of the second section. You know what I’m talking about: the mezzanine-like spot you see just as you walk into the theater that requires you to walk up exactly one step.
Think of it like Goldilocks and her porridge: it’s not too close, not too far, and if you’re feeling bold you can put your legs on the fun railing that’s sometimes there; most importantly, there’s no chance of the person in front of you blocking your view with their large head and/or unreasonably tall stature. As for position within said row, the ideal spot is, of course, dead center. If you have to tilt your head in either direction, you’ve already lost.
You might think that the back row of the floor level is essentially the same, as it tends to only be 10 to 15 feet closer, but I’m not sure I agree with you 100% on your police work there. These seats usually aren’t elevated, meaning you have to look up ever so slightly, and who has time for that? Not me and not you, that’s who. Those who willingly sit in the actual back row are even more unfortunate. If you have to look down to see the screen and it doesn’t fill your field of vision, the experience isn’t that far removed from watching a movie on your laptop.
I am sympathetic to aisle-sitters, however. Committing to the middle seat comes with an inherent risk, after all: what if you need to get up during the movie? As both a worrier and someone who hates missing even a single scene of a film, this weighs heavily on my mind — doubly so if there isn’t much space between rows and your fellow moviegoers have to move their legs to the side in order to let you pass by. Truly a fate worse than death, and yet the optimal viewing experience is worth the risk. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, dear reader.
This is also why I mostly patronize theaters that allow you to select your seats in advance. Can you imagine being as neurotic as I am, showing up unreasonably early to a movie, and still ending up too close to the screen, too far from it, or off-center? I respect myself too much to willingly subject myself to an inconvenience as minor as this, and so should you. We’re all just gonna be dead one day anyway, so we might as well enjoy our picture shows in comfort.